Euro-English The European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations,
the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c"
will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm
in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".
This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik
akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where
more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the
removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be
reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During
ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze
drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al
be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil,
pleas pas on to oza pepl